Heaven

Revelation 21:4: And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

All good. But here's some other stuff I very much doubt we'll find in Heaven.

  • dental floss
  • waiting in line
  • insurance
  • dieting
  • six o'clock news
  • credit cards
  • telephones
  • leaf blowers
  • sneezes
  • boogers
  • high-heeled shoes
  • glasses
  • light bulbs
  • insect repellent
  • firetrucks
  • barbers
  • pork rinds
  • passports
  • reservations
  • flame-throwers
  • soy anything
  • plastic
  • antacid
  • SUVs that beep when they back up
  • barking dogs
  • pledge drives
  • junk mail
  • karate
  • fake fingernails
  • Christmas trees
  • hard hats
  • body piercing of any sort
  • steak knives
  • motor oil
  • tickets (speeding or admission)
  • ketchup
  • alarm clocks
  • sweat suits
  • watches and clocks
  • bills
  • talk radio
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5 Responses to Heaven

  1. kelli says:

    All things to look forward to – the only one I reserve for a “wait and see” is high heels – there are certain pairs of cute shoes that MUST be heaven sent… so that means there’s probably an awesome shoe store up there. :)

  2. Tim S says:

    …computers, Playstation, cats, GPS’s, guns, banks, fast food, iPod, braces, rap music…

  3. Roger says:

    Computers? You’re probably right. The rest I certainly agree with.

    Also: … microwave ovens, styrofoam, stop lights, bathrooms (I think our gluttony will be so under control and the food so nutritious that our intake will exactly match our calorie burn, but I can’t give you chapter and verse.), want ads, humidifiers and dehumidifiers, lotteries, reality TV …

  4. countmetoo says:

    hey what’s wrong with karate?

  5. Roger says:

    What would you need to hit?

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